OVER-RATED FOREVERS

An ode to people who had too short a span in my life and also to people who are on verge of platform-Goodbye .. 🙂

Today while staring blankly at pale whitish ceiling of my room I realised how it has been white since so long ! And its not that I did not have a chance of renewing it everytime house was whitewashed on festivals but somehow I had grown comfortable over this dull to the extent I couldn’t bear the idea of replacing it with any pink or blue or my favourite green for that matter !

You must be thinking why did I put this dull ceiling story as an intro to this article .. Well its because the same theory applies to people in our lives too !! Like in my case I might have a blue or a green wallpaper for a while but I’ll find my peace and my solace looking at my dull white ceiling only ! My dull ! My white !! 🙂

But does that mean the blue or the green wallpaper was just a breather I used from my dull ceiling ? Well !! In shouty capitals – NO ! Infact these blues and pinks and yellows and oranges are the people who gave us such beautiful memories in such micro span that might not be visible in my dull white ceiling no matter how hard I try to find answers in it !

Its only that we respected the selfless and the beautiful moments a little too much to stretch the relationship in a complicated manner ! Afterall not every star was born to lighten a life .. Not every spring was supposed to bring green memories .. Not every rotation of earth was supposed to bring the day .. Few events are conspired by the universe to happen once in a million years and that too for a very short time ! So obviously they are more Special ! More beautiful !! Mr. Green said “The marks humans leave are too often scars” 🙂 Well ! He forgot to mention the beauty of these scars . Okay ! Fine ! They hurt us and so they are not anymore in our lives but did we ever think if it wasn’t for them would we be the same souls we are today ? Had we learnt to embrace our “Self” and kiss our souls if it wasnt for them ?? NO !

Its them who taught us Life is not all hunkey dorey . Its them who taught us .. “Some infinities are shorter than other infinities ” and that we should be thankful to the little infinity we get ! 🙂

So I feel immensely proud of both-the people who have boarded the “Goodbye Flight” and the people who are on “Departure terminal”.. for you are the people who have casted me into the person I have become now ! THANK YOU !! and the pain you gave to me .. 🙂 I have made pills out of them and they are working miraculously !! I don’t want to be treated anymore !!! I want daily nightmares of your existence still floating under my soul so that every morning when harsh sun wakes me up .. I exactly know .. IT IS YOUR LOSS ! NOT MINE !! but yes I should be Sorry .. because It was me who trusted you .. MY MISTAKE ! NOT YOURS !! 🙂

~ P.S.
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HOPING AGAINST THE HOPE ..

 Holding her face in her tiny little hands ..

Trying to hide the rosy rush of blood towards the pale skin ..

There she was .. Hoping against the hope ..

“Its okay !” I said , probably in my most dishonest tone ..

Its rarest of the rare I felt such a void of words ..

How could I butcher that silent yearn ..? Hoping against the hope ..?

 Trying to find answers in “STILLNESS” , we hovered in the lonesome aura ..

Only to land in brutality of words , like the book was being the honest mistress ..

The savagery of reality  was mulling , the  hoping against the hope ..

 Clearly ghosts of her past were crawling beneath her skin ..

Soliciting her to vanish into recluseness , to give up the fight ..

But that soft intensity was burning .. Hoping against the hope ..

The life was dancing .. escaping the death of soul ..

Trying to find a breath in perpetual journey of pain ..

No truer desire to live .. Hoping against the hope ..

I could not be more proud to witness the beauty of that revolt..

For she chose not to give up both on her beliefs and her life ..

For I could see “Love” taking shape .. Nothing  but Hoping against the hope .. !!

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~P.S.

 

NOW WHY DO YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME ?

I am a moon eloping into an eclipse ..

I am a sunshine surfing into darkness ..

My tears have no warmth now ..

My lips fail to wear a smile ..

My hands do tremble on approach of love ..

My soul can not accept another’s touch ..

Its not about the courage to unlock it again ..

Its just that I have lost the key along with the urge to find it ..

You yourself yelled .. you yourself left ..

You yourself declared me out of your fathom ..

Ages have passed but time has been still ..

You think you can rekindle it but believe me you can not ..

For darling the moment you lost me I lost myself ..

Or may be the girl you fell so hopelessly for ..

You anyways said once I do not belong to this world ..

That I am an arcanum .. sort of a seal ..

So now why do you say you love me ,

When I was once so difficult to love .. ?

There is this signal from someplace I am homesick for ..

Where I am unwelcomed without leaving behind the baggages of past ..

So how about we just cut the string ..

And see where the kite is destined to be ..

For this world deserves better ..

For you deserve better ..

For I deserve better ..

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~P.S.( Inspiration-“Lola versus”)

QUAGMIRE OR A BEAUTIFUL BLEND ?

People cry the only sure thing about life is that nothing is sure . I say Life is nothing but a mistress breathing in the crevices of these uncertainities , these possibilities . I keep wondering what if everybody was born with a plan of life , with answers of every question that humankind today suffers.. What ? When ? Where ? How ? And the most painful of them , Why ? . Trust me .. almost every single person on this earth is swinging in some Why ? . So yeah .. What if they didn’t exist ? What if juices of life were already ready contemplating what is going to be served next ? Well I would not like to add more What ifs ! Reasons-1. These two words are so strong , when flash in my mind I do not belong to this world anymore floating in some third space . 2.Mere thought of this so depressing man !

 I mean , I practically live on the idea that tomorrow shall be something new , something different , something still not known to me . Most people would disagree to this thanks to the monotonous lives they have chosen for themselves chugging along without noticing little magics of life . Yes ! the little things , the beauty of minimalism is something that is different , like some kind of exotic ingredient when added in different amounts and different forms  add life to life ! But humans being humans running blindly in the rat race to achieve something which they already know can be achieved , proving something which has already been proven, put a token of so called “individuality” on their achievements and declare themselves kings/queens of their respective castles .

Well , compromising my no particular inclination towards any religion , the Bible says “We may make our plans , but God has the the last word .”Although I do not believe in some God passing verdicts for us somewhere but I certainly do believe in a solemn power which is guiding the whole universe , interconnecting everything with every other thing let alone lives . We are a part every other breath taken , every dancing blade of  grass , every yawning squirrel , infact every ugly chameleon  surviving in this ruthless world trying to change others according to our convenience ,  and if “God” is gracious getting a little bonus called “Life” occasionally . So what is the rush for ? Why is this urge for a bigger number ? Why is this shout when deep down we know its only to the void ? Yes! Like I mentioned above , this Why ? is a real pain in ass ! If you get an answer for a painful Why ? of your life .. dude ! you are something !!

Anyways sticking to my attempt of finding a formula for saving myself and through this piece many others like me from leaving behind the bracing gust of “Uncertainity” and  disappearing into the mist of “Certainity”, I would only like to say “Few dues are best left unpaid .. Few things are best left unsaid .” Only certain thing is “NOW” !  So giving  a temporary  pause , I’d cite here Whitman ( Thanks to one of my favourite authors , John Green ! ) who through his exhaustive yet oh so beautiful poem “Song of Myself ” makes you see the invisible , hear the inaudible and understand the unfathomable ..

                   “ I have heard what the talkers were talking, the talk of the
beginning and the end,
But I do not talk of the beginning or the end.

                     There was never any more inception than there is now,
Nor any more youth or age than there is now,
And will never be any more perfection than there is now,
Nor any more heaven or hell than there is now.”

Hold onto Hope

                                                                                                                                                                      ~P.S. 

God's most beautiful and yet most complicated gifts are – Human emotions . Most people think its archaic to talk or share about them in this superbusy world spinning the cobweb of technology 24/7 . But I here feel whosoever is still stuck with emotions, they are super rich . Amazingly enough normalcy is overrated according to me . Or may be I should say – "SANE LOVE IS NO LOVE!!"